The 2024 season was finally over. We delivered our work, with some delays — but still, we made it. At the price of our sleep, our bodies, our minds.
Once the season ends, it’s time for your performance review. The company holds this huge meeting where managers gather to rank every staff member by performance. They might not know you. They might not have worked with you. That was my case — I had no manager on my assignments. But they discuss you anyway.
Now that I think about it, the system is completely unfair. Most managers never set foot onsite. They don’t know the reality of the job. They don’t know what difficulties you’ve faced. They don’t see the long hours, the nights spent alone in hotel rooms. They just see the final files (barely reviewed sometimes). Still, they rank you — and let’s be honest: personal preference plays a big part.
After this “almighty meeting,” each staff member gets a personal appointment to discuss their evaluation and whether they’ll be promoted. These meetings mostly serve to remind you about the company’s performance culture and to make you feel valued enough to stay. That’s why they have partners spend a whole 30 minutes with you — to make you feel special.
And the truth is: it worked.
By July, I was running on empty. I’d been crying in front of my screen, sleeping poorly, having mental blackouts. But when I sat in that office, with the partner telling me I’d done a great job and that the firm was counting on me — I felt it was all worth it.
Even if just for 30 minutes.
How pathetic is that?
Looking back, I wish I could scream at the girl sitting in that chair. I’d tell her: They’re playing you. They don’t really care. This is just how the system works.
But I can’t go back. And that girl? She felt proud. She was determined to do even better next year.
So she stayed.
For another season.
Thank you so much for reading my story.
If this resonated with you, I’d truly love to hear from you — whether it’s in the comments or in a DM.
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